I love that I can make myself laugh. Yesterday I was cleaning my computer and found a folder called “assholeness”. I invented this word (no surprise, huh?) because I wanted a way to describe and quantitate the degree of unacceptable behavior displayed by my son’s sperm donor. Surprisingly there is nothing in the folder but I am keeping it around for the chuckle factor. I am also acutely aware that anything I put in writing may be used against me in the “un-divorce” so I’m attempting to take the high road. (attempting is the operative word, thank you very much.)

Then there are the funny things I say like, “If you dressed me like a bag of Skittles, I’d be cranky too”.  And, “Do my bunions look big in these sandals?” I never thought those words would come out of this mouth but I speak the truth. I don’t much like my aging feet but they keep me dancing so at least I can outfit them in cute sandals. Or take a look at my latest Selfie! I wanted to get my shirt and sandals in the same shot and find it hysterical the way the photo came out. I feel like I look—a bloated tropical flower! I know you are now looking at my bunions. Please stop.

Visiting my Mom at the hospital I overhear the nurses debriefing during a shift change. The patient in the room next door is there because of a duck attack. What? Did they say a D-U-C-K attack? I confirm with the nurse, without looking too nosey, that indeed it was a duck attack. How much damage can a duck do? She tells me it was a pet duck but that she is prohibited by patient privacy from saying any more. I see her giggle as she leaves the room. You can’t make this stuff up.  That is the stuff nightmares are made of!

It is a good thing I am better at finding humor, especially during stressful times. My default method was to stuff my emotions until I exploded! Stress impacts both our physical and mental health. Have you ever thought about the impact of “Second Hand Stress”? I hadn’t put much thought into this concept until I heard a news story regarding a study done by Sara Waters at University of California San Francisco showing that babies could not only detect when a mother was stressed, the baby also started to demonstrate “stressed behavior”. “By knowing how this happens, we can start being mindful of both what we’re putting out, but also how people around us are affecting us,” Waters said.

So are we more influenced by our “stressed out” loved ones than a stranger? Yes, in fact it was said that we are four times more likely to be influenced by the stress of a loved one, coworker, friends or a roommate than a stranger.

Trying to do more, do better, do faster while making my life look effortless, stress became my drug of choice. If I was stressed, I was important. Didn’t all successful people have stress? So my stress manifested with short...

Guilty as charged! You, CaraW, on this 23rd day of September are cited with the following crimes:
• Sometimes too helpful,
• Frequently too kind and
• Annoying too optimistic.

Confused? I was too when I heard that our best attributes can get us to trouble. It took a few days to wrap my head around this concept but this is how I digested it.

Have you ever “fixed” something for someone because you could jump in and solve a problem rather than let that person struggle and eventually figure it out?

Have you intervened for someone rather than let them suffer the natural consequence of their actions?

You couldn’t say no to a request despite already having too much to do?

I bet it is sounding more and more familiar because it is easy to fall into these traps. Please realize it is NOT the attribute itself causing the issue. The problem is that you are masking your true motivation with a cover of daisies, rainbows and sunshine. Your motivation boils down to three simple words.

YOU LOVE CONTROL.

I can really relate. Fear drives my need for control. For instance, if I am always prepared, I won’t stumble for answers and you won’t call me stupid. Reality check: It is impossible to prepare for every scenario, every minute of my life. Solution: Trust myself with what I know and have faith in my ability to get the answer if necessary. I am not stupid.

Fear drives my need to do too much for my kids to prove that I am a good mother. Doesn’t self-sacrifice guarantee their love and respect? Reality check: Are you stupid? Ha, ha! Despite my wishful thinking and stellar efforts, it just ain’t so! Solution: Strive for striking a healthy balance which requires introspection and foregoing the need to do it all. It isn’t impossible. Let the kids learn by my example of being a confident, open hearted, vulnerable adult. (By the way, this concept also applies if you do too much for a parent, an employer, a friend, a lover, a neighbor, etc.)

Fear drives me to clamp down on people and situations. If I can manage or predict the desired outcome, I don’t have to worry, right? R.i.g.h.t. Reality check? Fear intoxicates my thinking. I leave you feeling “less than” because after all, I came to your rescue (again). Solution? Pause. Breathe. What is my responsibility and within my control? I can’t do it all so I will focus on managing my own cuppa crazy.

There is a term for parents who just won’t let go—helicopter parents. They probably would evacuate their kid’s bowels if there was an App for it. These parents act in the auspices of being attentive, helpful, knowledgeable, perfect and “they know best”. They make most to all of their kid’s decisions, fight their battles and act as a glorified life coach without breaking a sweat.

Local author and psychologist Madeline Levine defines helicopter parenting as good intentioned adults who are physically...

Meet my Mr. Dreamy!

He is deliciously dreamy, isn’t he? I couldn’t believe my luck when he approached me on Christmas day through my on-line dating service. It was a Christmas miracle! Of course he is younger man at 42 but I am young at heart! Of course I wonder why a guy like this would need a dating service! Women must throw themselves at his feet. Of course he could answer every one of questions without hesitation and further pictures had me weak in the knees.

After corresponding for several hours over the last eighteen days, our first date was scheduled for Saturday night. Friday morning, he learned he had an emergency trip to Europe and asked me to come along with all expenses paid. Ugh, tempting if it were Paris, London or Rome but he was headed to Latvia to sign papers on a real estate deal that had been tied up in probate. Now I admit I did have to use Google to see where the hell Latvia was located. It is NOT on my bucket list of travel destinations with or without Mr. Dreamy. Besides, shouldn’t we at least have coffee before we cross an international borders? I don’t want to end up on Nightline as an unsolved murder case because I was found “iced” in a hotel bathtub missing my kidneys.

Well, my Sweetie arrived safely, but can you believe his wallet was stolen at the airport and he needed me to help him? WTF, I cannot believe it. You guessed it. Mr. Dreamy is not real. This has been an elaborate scheme to win my trust and my money. (What Money???) I am shocked at this insanity. I immediately stopped communication but how many women may have fallen for the ploy?

What kind of sick SOB (I’ll be fair – it could be a woman) plays on the emotions of lonely women and then takes advantage of their generosity? Whomever I was communicating with was a professional— I cannot believe the elaborate tale that was woven to create the persona of a wonderful man.

What I do know is that karma is going to kick their ass for this behavior!

How am I feeling about this fiasco? I am disgusted. There too is a layer of embarrassment but that is my weepy bruised ego. I look at this experience as yet another lesson in self-discovery.

I am proud of myself for being able to express my thoughts freely and honestly even though the beauty of my words landed on the screen of a predatory asshole. Please remember friends, whatever you post may be used to manipulate you.

I am willing to continue dating but I will not have a prolonged on-line conversation with anyone.

I don’t feel angry. It is not worth the time to be angry.

My dating profile has everything my family will need to write my obituary should they need to in the next few years. Let’s hope not but it’s like killing two birds with one stone! Ha, ha, cracking myself up here. Laughter heals.

My Girlfriend Voice reminds me that if something appears too good to be true, it probably isn’t!  I tell her to shut up I mean to please be...

I may be wasting my time with an on-line dating service!! Who knew that I would have been amongst such interesting men in the waiting room of the tire store yesterday?

By the way, I really appreciate all of the comments I received on my last post when I asked for your input on selecting the best single word to describe myself on my dating profile. Susan suggested CAPTIVATING and it stuck with me. It is hard to say with a straight face but I will practice until I say it without giggling. “I am a captivating woman.”

Back to my headline story! The place to meet men is…… the local tire store. The place was packed with men. How lucky for me that all of our tire issues waited to pop up until after the holidays. Plus how a person spends their time waiting says a great deal about them, doesn’t it?

I came prepared with a book, an iced coffee, two cell phones and money in my checking account. I noticed a handsome man waiting with the cutest reader glasses. Not the cheap readers from the drug store — he dropped a dime on this pair. Plus when he took a call on his cell phone, he spoke quietly. So quietly it was difficult to eavesdrop! Damn him.

This is how our conversation started. There is deep rumbling grumbling noise. I looked at this fellow and said, “That sounded like an earthquake!” to which he replied, “I study resonance and because you feel an earthquake before you hear it, an earthquake of that volume would have knocked us off our feet.” Well butter my butt and call me biscuit! You may think that sounded arrogant but I thought it sounded oh so INTRIGUIGING. A smart man in my midst! I’ll call him Mr. Smart.

Mr. Smart inquires, “Are you a writer?” In my mind,  this question is the equivalent of saying you are exquisitely beautiful and your butt looks perky in those pants. I had mentioned to my therapist just this week that recently I have been asked by eight people (YES, I counted) if I work in retail. Not that there is anything wrong with retail but how does one look when they work in retail? Why don’t you think I work as a personal chef or fly for NASA?

Back to my story…… “Why yes, I am a writer of sorts. I have a blog about common sense things. It is both humorous and inspirational.” I left out the part that I write about the voices in my head as I did not want to scare him away, and boy did it feel good to say I am a writer!!! I have never disclosed this skill publically. I also shared that I wish to write more and possibly publish an article in a magazine this year.

We continued on the topic of goals. Mr. Smart wants to avoid drama or as he phrased it, “Can’t do the CRAZY!”, and launch a new company. I am giddy with excitement. A smart man with motivation!

My Girlfriend Voice pops up. “Easy girl! Don’t scare the lad! You are starting to salivate.”

The conversation continues...

The Christmas holiday in my little Zen Den was simply wonderful. I hope that you too enjoyed a lovely December celebration whether it was alone or with family and friends.

There are many things that could (and did!) stress me out over the holidays. See my blog entry called “Christmas Crisis” if you are curious. However this year I experienced a new pressure. I felt the pressure to “be in a relationship” or at least have a date every time I attended a holiday party.

Why does it really matter?

Why does the pressure seem higher for single people at the holidays? There are millions of people out there dreaming of ending their dysfunctional relationships. They are envious of people like me eating take-out food in front of the TV while they have to dazzle others with witty conversation and their understanding of current events.

Is it the cold weather that drives the desire to hold hands and cozily cuddle up?
Is it primal behavior?
Or is it just bull shit?

Well, I am going to put a scratch to this itch and pony up. Ok, that sounded really strange! Let me clarify. I am officially in search of a relationship. Correction, please. I’ll start with trying to converse with an interesting gentleman!!!! I’ll take it slow. I am search of a quality date.

It makes a great deal of sense to try on-line dating. There is a nice safety net with virtual communication. I can screen out those that can’t spell or read! I can paste my profile and hope that I attract someone who matches my list of 59 “must haves”. Just kidding—I only have a few “must haves” like you MUST be single, kind, loyal, honest and intelligent. OK, a few more. You must be able to support yourself and communicate well. OK, OK. And you must live within 30 miles of me. There.

One of the dating sites asked a question that I don’t know how to answer. Can you believe it? I am haunted by this damn question. Help me with this, “What is one thing that you want people to know about you?” List one thing. Only one!

OK, if I let my thoughts fly, I could easily fill this page but that is not the exercise. I need to come up with one thing. Well then, why is it so hard to settle on one thing? I know myself pretty well but I find it impossible to prioritize my attributes. Plus I want to show I have a sense of humor. What am I going to say?

Does this mean I am over confident and a little arrogant or insecure and fearful of saying the wrong thing? I am confused. I will set this aside for tonight and trust that the answer will bubble up from my heart by morning. I’d love to hear what you think too.

I found this quote on a blog called Cindy T is for Triathlon. “They said the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again. So I fell in love with myself. Best relationship of my life!”

How true! I am my own best company. I needed to fall in love with myself all over again which sets the stage for me...

There are times when the voices in my head can be really helpful!  Recently I had a little situation where I decided to consult my inner wisdom or what I like to call, “My Girlfriend Voice or MGV for short” for a little advice.

Last Sunday, a friend hurt my feelings.  There was no doubt that I was hurt but I couldn’t decide if I should I put a little space in between us or try to address the situation while the feelings were still fresh.

ME:  My gut tells me to talk to my friend but I am worried that I may make the situation worse because my emotions may cloud my objectivity.  I made a vow to myself to keep all of my relationships healthy so I feel the need to speak up.  It’s confusing!

MGV:  I am giving you the green light to talk now.  Talk from the heart.  Remember to use “I statements” and focus on how you feel.  Breathe and make eye contact.

ME:  (OK, here I go!) To my friend:   “Tonight I was upset.  When you did “X”, it made me feel “Y”.  I know it is not your intention to hurt my feelings but I felt it was important to let you know while it was still fresh in our minds.”

You:  “Silence………”

ME:  A yellow flag is flashing in my brain.  Does your silence mean you didn’t hear me?  Please, we are sitting eighteen inches apart.   I pause.  Ok, I’ll keep this simple and focused.   I wonder if I should I reiterate what I just said?

MGV:  AHEM.  Slow down and proceed with caution.  You may feel a little defensive and repeating yourself is not only unnecessary, it is really annoying.  Relax.  You have opened a dialogue.   Sit tight.  Take a breath.  Stop pursing your lips.

You:  “Oh”.

ME:  I don’t say this out loud but I don’t play poker for a good reason!   OH?  Did you just say OH?   WTF?  I was brilliantly articulate while emotionally charged.  Sometimes it is not easy being me!!!

MGV:  HOLY SMOKES.  Take a breath.  While your heart rate accelerates, you may lose sight of the importance of this moment.  You have two choices:

1. You can respond in a kind, compassionate manner.  The past cannot be erased but perhaps you will help shape future behavior?
2. You can react and do what you have countless times before,   you can ARGULATE.  (One of my favorite sources for information, Urban Dictionary, defines argulate as to argumentatively provide a hard-headed and ignorant fool the wisdom of your point of view; that which is undoubtedly right in every which way.)

ME:  RESPOND OR REACT?  Sounds familiar!  I do try to follow my own advice but sometimes it is easier to do as I say and not as I do.

I turn to YOU and say lovingly, ...

This week I’ve been struggling to find the right words.  My mind is a flurry of activity yet I don’t feel  the usual melody in my story. What the hell?

Boom, it is 1am and the lights go on in my brain. 

This topic is complex but when I drill down to the absolute core of what is important, it’s really rather simple. I’ll forego the need for a flowery explanation and witty prose of the backstory and share with you the facts.  Just the facts, Ma’am, just the facts.

So what is my mystery topic? RELATIONSHIPS.  I am talking about my blueprint for healthy relationships; the relationships between friends, family and lovers.

There are times when a relationship requires WORK.  Not effort, but work.  I am not talking about hitting a rough patch or feeling distant but rather you feel like you are running up hill, walking on egg shells or giving more than you receive. RED FLAG but I’ll continue this thought later.

So now that I have reached the divine and wise (ass) age of 50, what say I is the key?  What is necessary in order to experience a mutually satisfying relationship?  To help you remember, I’ve created a simple mnemonic; FUN!

The (F) FOUNDATION:

1. I must understand who I am.
2. I must love the person I am.
3. I must be responsible for my actions, toward myself and others.

The (U) UNDERSTANDING:

1. You enhance my life BUT I don’t need you to feel complete.
2. We communicate honestly and respectfully, regardless of the subject matter.
3. Our relationship is a priority NOT a contingency or a convenience.

The (N) NON-NEGOTIABLES:

1. We each believe we are capable of loving another person and we deserve to be loved ourselves.
2. We each own our own #$#@%.  No blame or excuses!
3. We explicitly agree that I am responsible for MY life and you for YOUR life.
4. We relinquish the need to control what is out of our power and place to manage.
5. We chose to live with an open and generous heart.

Back to that RED FLAG warning…. The first thing to examine is your role in the relationship. Are you grounded and open?  Realistic? Codependent? This step is so often overlooked as blame, anger, resentment and other powerful emotions fuel unproductive exchanges.

Look in the mirror.  You are the first step.

If it still isn’t working, you have a decision to make.

FUN = My personal blueprint.  What’s your blueprint?

From the heart,

Cara

(Graphic courtesy of sodahead.com)

I just returned from my first trip to the amazing city of New Orleans!  What a place—a city rich in history and culture.

On the final leg of the trip home I sat reflecting on the warmth of the NoLa people and the pride associated with excellent products and services, when a man also traveling home from the South, made the following comment, “The only good thing about the South is the manners.  People there really know their place and respect white people.  They don’t have attitudes like these Mexicans over here.”

Maturity or maybe aging neurons provided me with the ability to pause before I engaged my mouth.  My first thought.  Did I just hear him correctly?  Yes, I am wearing my glasses.  (I swear I hear better when I am wearing my glasses!)  But this was someone my age or even younger…….hmmmm.

My second thought was why should I waste my energy responding to such a complete idiot?  But….. I can’t just stay silent, can I?  After all, communication is what separates us from apes…..

My neurons finally started firing on all cylinders and I managed to say this with a touch of icy calm, “Excuse me but everyone has a story and you cannot know the perspective of another person until you have walked in their shoes.”

May I point out I didn’t use any expletives? I zipped my lip.  I gave him no fuel to further engage me on any topic whether it is race, immigration or even the weather.  I am comfortable with my beliefs and I so much wanted to change his perspective but I deemed him a lost cause.  I also deemed him a racist moron in case you thought I had gone soft in the head.

My choice is to expend my energy where I CAN make a difference but driving home I could not let go of that conversation.  Isn’t this 2012?  Don’t I live in one of the most progressive areas of the country?  Why are we still judging people by the color of their skin?  Where is his compassion for a fellow human being?

People!! Let’s not forget that the United States was founded by immigrants.  Furthermore, we displaced the native people and exploited the cheap or even free labor of many others.

The beauty of this country lies in our diversity.   Celebrate it!

The color of someone’s skin does not determine whether or not we engage with them in a kind, honest and respectful manner.  For that matter, neither does their gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs and socioeconomic status.  All people deserve respect.  It’s really that simple.

“Treat others better than you wish to be treated yourself.”  That’s what my Grandma always told us and that is what I wish to share with you.

From the heart,

Cara

I am having a hard time understanding why bad things happen to good people.  A friend of mine, I’ll call her S., had cancer four years ago but luckily they caught it early and she survived.  At that time, she was in the middle of the adoption process.  Not only did she survive the rigors of surgery and chemotherapy, she was the happiest bald headed woman I ever met.  Her faith, family, friends and positive attitude prevailed over all doubt.

A few weeks ago S. told me that it was very likely that she had a different type of cancer, although discovered early, it is on her liver.  What really makes me furious with the Universe is that she just completed the adoption process for two little boys.  And if I could be any madder, had S. not challenged her doctor for further testing after a questionable lab result, the cancer would have progressed undetected.

So if we are exactly where we need to be, what could possibly be the benefit of battling yet another cancer? 

With this situation on my mind, I am hypersensitive to people who do not appreciate all that they have in their lives.  For instance, I heard a story about a woman who received a promotion and bonus but was complaining that the promotion should have been up two levels instead of one.  OMG.  Once you start wishing things were different, it tells me that you have not paused to appreciate where you are and what you have received.

Are you waiting for something or someone before you consider yourself happy or complete?  Hello, this is your wake up call.  You cannot wait to live your life for any reason.    I guess if you are OK settling for less than fine but come on, put on your big girl panties and live out loud.

I too wish for things to be different.

• I wish for my friends and family to be free of suffering.
• I wish that I be given guidance to make good decisions.
• I wish that we all learn to love who we are as unique individuals.

The rest is up to you. 

I have a box that I slip my notes and prayers into that I call my “God box”.  I love the process of writing something down (makes it real) and then turning it over to the Universe (lifts it from my heart and mind).  I recently pulled out a few slips of paper to see what they said.  One was wishing a friend find a way to move to California.  Update:  she did 13 months later.  Another note was I wanted help finding a job where I was able to work in a respectful and creative environment.  Update:  I did one month later.

There is power in prayer so I ask that you join me in praying that S. receives the best possible care and outcome.

Finally, I want S. to know that she is the most courageous person I know and her example of moving forward with a positive attitude inspires me.  I am so fortunate to have her in my life.

From the (somewhat broken) heart,

Cara

Welcome to The Confessional.  I have to admit that I have a crush on my neighbor.  Well, it is my neighbor’s house guest to be exact.

“Cabana Boy”, as my friends have so appropriately named him, sees all sides of me living in such close proximity.

He already knows I wear pajamas a good deal of my waking hours.  It is by choice—not that I am lazy or anything.  Comfort is the name of the game.

He probably hears me talking all day but I am not crazy or at least that kind of crazy.  I work from a home office or I may be practicing character voices for an audio book recording.  PS: I love to talk and eventually will be paid by the hour to do so!

I hope the vacuum, the dryer or the blender at 11pm doesn’t bother him because I cook and clean when the mood strikes me.   You have to love my creativity—and cute aprons!  Just in case your mind goes there, I am not wearing a French maid outfit when performing said activities.

Yes, you can borrow my ironing board but why not just come inside? I was just using it—in my bedroom.     This puts new meaning to the phrase “Strike while the iron is hot”.  I’ll let you wonder if this really happened or not.      There is nothing sexier than watching a man iron.  Wait, it would sexier if he were ironing my clothes!

English is not his first language.  Thank goodness he doesn’t always understand my nervous girly girl chatter.

Cabana Boy will be here until December when either I will be relieved to see him go or broken hearted upon his departure.  My romantic goofiness has a limited time window.

I smiled all day when he said, “Ello, I wuz jest tinking about youz.”

It’s the little things….I wish you a good dose of tingly all over.

From the heart,

Cara

Art courtesy of redriverpak.com

I was reminded this week of the way life moves at a pace all its own whether you are ready for it or not. One of my favorite people in my Friday reading group was absent for the last two weeks.  I asked if he was on vacation but was told that because his disease had progressed so rapidly in the last month, he was moved to an assisted living facility.  This day program is designed for those still able to live at home so I wouldn’t have the pleasure of Irv’s company any longer.   My heart was heavy because this man had provided me with so many humorous anecdotes and stories of his life.  I told him we would sit down and record of his memories once I purchased a decent recorder.   I didn’t move fast enough…..

Today is your only guarantee. 

Being that it is Father’s Day today, I am reminded of how my Dad loved to bask in the happiness of his children.  It wasn’t until his father passed away that he admitted his dad never told him he loved him.  My Dad knew Grandpa did love him but why was it so hard to say it out loud?  As my Dad aged, he grew more sentimental and affectionate.  There was never a time that I spoke to him that he didn’t remind me that he loved me.  I carry this tradition through with my own children thinking what if this is the last time we speak?  Now I know that is a bit morbid but let’s err on the side of morbidity just in case, huh?

I lost my Dad too soon.  I knew the end was approaching and I felt a sense of urgency to convey a “lifetime of thank you” in a short period of time.  I thought to myself, what will I regret not saying while I have the chance?  So I chose a beautiful card and wrote to Dad letting him know that he shared many wonderful qualities and interests of which I was grateful.  At the same time I may have inherited his stubbornness and impatience too!  It was important to me to memorialize my thoughts.

My Dad encouraged me to find my own way and this is a big part of who I am today.  I wasn’t the kind of kid that needed a lot of rules because not meeting his expectations was enough to scare the daylights out of me.  I learned by experience.  Yes, he was right that freshman shouldn’t date seniors but he let me come to my own conclusion after one miserable date.  I even told him he was right!  Finding my own way is an integral component of my success as a parent and business person.  Most importantly, “finding my way” is what fuels me to discover both myself and the world.  Finding my way helped me leave a dysfunctional relationship knowing I was going to be OK.

My Dad supported the idea that you don’t know unless you try….. but you can’t quit in the middle of the season!   I wanted to play freshman volleyball and lucky for me everyone was accepted to the team. ...

On Friday’s, I volunteer with a day care program designed for people with early stage Alzheimer’s.  I have the good fortune of selecting material for a reading and discussion hour.  Today we talked about how a mother wished she had more patience and was never angry with her children but Mister Fred Rogers, educator and TV host, advised that the best thing we can do for our children is to express a wide range of emotions, including anger (just appropriately!) so that our children learn healthy habits.

I asked the class, “What is something important you wish to teach or talk to a child about?”  The list was long but the answers that registered most with me were happiness, the power of prayer, compassion and the importance of helping others.   I couldn’t agree more, adding my two cents, perfectionism is overrated.

I also mentioned that at my office we have something called COURAGEOUS DIALOGUE, a major factor that attracted me the company.  If you have an issue with someone at work, regardless of their position, you ask for a Courageous Dialogue (CD) where you come together to work things out.  Each person has the opportunity to hear the other one out, one on one, without judgment and under confidentiality.  I have used the process and there is nothing more refreshing than hashing out a miscommunication before it festers into a larger problem.

My personal life isn’t always so tidy.  Today I got an email that angered me to such a degree that I was speechless.  If I were a cartoon character, you would have seen steam blasting out of my ears, my eyes the size of saucers and my hands accusingly placed on my hips.  In real life, the surge of blood pressure caused a bloody nose, nature’s way of getting me to sit down and breathe, so I couldn’t get in the car and go confront the offender.

I can’t remember the last time I felt such disgust and rage.  That part doesn’t really worry me – after all I’m only human.  The real danger was that I started to doubt myself.  When the anger left my body, it took along my self-esteem for company.

I phoned a friend.  I took the high road and didn’t respond.  I’ve learned that “TWA” or “typing/texting while angry” leads to bigger trouble so I shut off the computer, washed my face and cuddled with my doggie.  I have a very good support system!

This is what gets me.  I am perplexed by people who don’t have the integrity or maybe it is the courage to communicate honestly.  These people, no I’ll call them gutless eunuchs, hide behind insulting emails, gossip and lies. These adults really disappoint me.

Listen, just do me a favor and stop playing this stupid game.  We don’t have to be friends.

I’ll do you a favor.  I won’t spend time with you so you won’t be reminded of how...