May 15, 2017 § Leave a comment
I believe in getting familiar with all of the voices in my head. You might remember me mentioning some of them in previous posts. I “humanize” these voices – not sure that anyone ever told me to do that but it made perfect sense to me. I want to meet “face to face” with Penny Perfectionist, Bitchy Becky, Anxious Abbie and the rest of that motley crew who contribute to the negative banter. My Girlfriend Voice lives with those mean girls and helps to keep them in check.
This weekend a new Voice had her debut. Let’s call her Warrior Woman. Rather than REACTING, she RESPONDS from a place of power and passion. She is not to be silenced or shunned. She is a fierce Momma – unleashed to lead and educate. It’s extra cool that this happens to be my 100th post! 🎖
You’ll end up hearing more from Warrior Woman. In the meantime, here is a 3 minute video clip of her first public appearance.
My Girlfriend Voice is a tool for every woman and especially relevant for those impacted by anxiety, depression and grief. I don’t claim to be an expert! I’m walking the walk with you. I’m sharing what I know and sometimes it ain’t pretty. Other times I damned proud of myself!
There is something beautiful about struggle, right?
- You learn what you’re made of.
- You learn who your friends are.
- You learn to love yourself first and foremost.
- You learn that the only thing you can control is your response.
Until next week, settle in and invite your Girlfriend Voice to visit. Let her tell you everything’s gonna be OK. You are where you need to be!
Penny Perfectionist insists that I tell you that incase the formatting looks wonky, I wrote this on my phone. 🙄
From the heart,
May 8, 2017 § 6 Comments
I’m feeling lifted, elated – lighter! Last Saturday, I finished an 8 week class through my local university extension. I love to learn and decided to leverage my company’s tuition reimbursement program.
I have to admit that I had forgotten how much time it takes for homework and lectures so I would spend all day Saturday or Sunday studying. You see, a “B grade” is mandatory to qualify for the hefty tuition reimbursement. Both my bank account and my ego are invested in me doing well!
I feel lighter because I have space back in my schedule. I can dedicate this energy to another interest or to do nothing at all. Girlfriends, you always have time to do what is important to you. I’m often asked how I have enough time to accomplish all that I do and the answer is that I chose wisely. I can’t do it all so what I do, I do because it is necessary and/or beneficial. I make sure I am spending my time in alignment with my responsibilities and values. I exercise “choice”.
As a working Mom with two small kids, I learned that anything I committed my time to had to benefit my career, my family or me personally. I learned that lesson but I didn’t practice it! Duh!! I thought that giving 150% to my family and job was what you were supposed to do. Remember the saying, “a woman’s work is never done?” The more I gave to others, the better person I became, right?
It only took grinding to a halt with a clinical depression to rewire my thinking. I became open to a new way of allocating my time and energy because I had to change in order to survive. Every day has to include ME time and the rest of my schedule goes from there. I am in the pilot’s seat!
ME time is not selfish. ME time re-calibrates my mind and body. ME time gets me in touch with My Girlfriend Voice. ME time is often 30 minutes at the beginning of the day and several evenings during the week.
Do you struggle with too little time and too many interests? Do you feel guilty taking time out for yourself? Let’s chat; just between us Girlfriends! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
From the heart,
May 17, 2016 § 3 Comments
I still chuckle when I think of this conversation with my Mother. Mom asked me, “Why are you so honest?” The question came out of the blue on a Sunday afternoon phone call. I laughed but not unkindly and replied, “It’s the only way I want to be.”
Wait a minute, wasn’t I raised to be honest?
Isn’t honesty a core value?
Is it weird that my Mother is questioning my virtue or am I on Candid Camera? (for you Millennials, this was a TV show a hundred years ago.) « Read the rest of this entry »
April 19, 2016 § Leave a comment
“Tell me, where does it hurt?” This is a common question, right? When someone isn’t feeling well, we want to know the source of the discomfort. We add up the symptoms to zero in on a diagnosis. Most times their suffering is the result of a virus or bacterial infection – nothing too serious, but do you realize that you can also suffer physically from emotional pain? We hold our emotions in our body, tucked away to be forgotten or dealt with at another time.
Like puppies and toddlers, our emotions can wreak havoc if left unattended for too long. « Read the rest of this entry »
April 14, 2016 § 2 Comments
Gentle: neither harsh or severe; tender and lovingly
When your heart is hurting, hold it gently. Give yourself the care and compassion your body is yearning to receive.
When you feel frustrated, pause and allow a gentleness to settle over you.
Anytime you feel uncomfortable, …….pause…….breathe……and be gentle with your thoughts.
Wisdomcommons.org provided this beautiful statement on gentleness. They say, “Gentleness means recognizing that the world around us is fragile, especially other people. It is recognizing our own capacity to do harm and choosing instead to be tender, soft-spoken, soft-hearted, and careful. When we are gentle we touch the world in ways that protect and preserve it.
Being gentle doesn’t mean being weak; gentleness can be firm, even powerful. To behave in a gentle manner requires that we stay centered in our own values and strength — that we are active rather than reactive. Coming from this center, a gentle word or touch can channel our energy into healing or making peace.”
“When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.” Saint Francis de Sales
From the heart,
March 21, 2016 § 2 Comments
I am lucky, at least when it comes finding sources of inspiration. Or is it that inspiration easily finds me? I was inspired yesterday by pink tulips mirroring the morning sky in their heavy dew drops. I was inspired by a video featuring a childhood friend in her role as a Wetlands Biologist in Tennessee—another scientist from our small Midwestern town! Then there is my source of constant inspiration from a former colleague fighting cancer (again) yet she is the most positive person I have ever encountered. Inspiration surrounds me.
Inspiration wasn’t always at my fingertips. I was too busy fighting my demons, both real and imagined. I had work to do and that didn’t leave room for inspiration or much else for that matter. Blaming, angry, tired, unappreciated…… can you relate to how I was feeling? « Read the rest of this entry »