Use Your “Outside” Voice — Question Everything!

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While my posts focus on the “inner voice” and managing our critical chatter, today I want to focus on our “outside” voice or how we speak to the world.

In light of the events in Charlottesville, it is critically important to state that I do not support white supremacy or any of their beliefs. It sickens me that there are 917 identified and active hate groups in this country (Southern Poverty Law Center 2017). How is hate a driving force with thousands, actually millions of Americans?

I spent last week observing more than acting. Don’t get me wrong, I am livid. I am sickened, saddened, enraged, threatened and shocked. I felt a shift too.  I came to the conclusion that my angry vile words are not going to do anything but contribute to the problem. Let me explain…….

You lose your power and credibility when you spew hate.  Continue reading →

Finding beauty…

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I’m focused on finding beauty
-within myself
-within every human being

I’m at a loss for words when bigotry and violent acts are not condemned.

I will pause and connect to the BEAUTY in every human being.

I celebrate our diversity. In diversity there is STRENGTH.

I pray for peace and justice. ❤️

From the heart,

Cara

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Have you forgotten your beauty?

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Girlfriend, you are so accustomed to your features that you forget just how beautiful you are to strangers!

Beauty stems from shining bright and living unapologetically!

Beauty isn’t defined by age, dress size or color.

Beauty is confidence.

Be YOU and you’ll be beautiful! ❤️

From the heart,

Cara

#mygirlfriendvoice #beauty #agelessbeauty #bodypositive #beauthentic #smile #shinebright

Stepping into Uncertainty

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I feel a type of rawness these days.  A rawness resulting from stripping away most of my blame, shame and guilt.  I’ve shed the heavy layered untruths and all of what no longer suits me.

I have discarded the limitations I’ve carried around since youth like a snake sheds it skin.

A bright light now shines into my heart, illuminating the bruises and battle wounds; sparking optimism. Continue reading →

I Hate Wormy Cowards!

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Just when I think I have evolved into a spiritual peace dwelling goddess, I hear something that really pisses me off.  Damn, in a few seconds I am playing tug of war with my rational brain to stay engaged and objective while my emotional brain rages.  My heart rate increases and I feel my lips pursing; the sure sign of,  “you’ve got to be kidding me or more likely WTF, what did you just say?”  I think you may be able to relate to my scenario.   Continue reading →

Doing Too Much is my Comfort Zone

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Hello Girlfriends!  I am curious to know if after you read last week’s blog post, did you give yourself permission to do something differently?  Did you take a step away from your comfort zone?  Even a baby step is a step in the right direction.

I took action and gave myself permission to do something differently.  I took myself out of a leadership role for an event in September.  You see, I like to DO.  I like to GIVE.  The issue is that I can commit to so much activity that I over-do; I over-give.  I exhaust myself.

Doing too much is my comfort zone. Continue reading →

The Permission Slip 

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Oopsie! I had a premature post there a little bit ago – hopefully that won’t happen again. I’m using the WordPress site on my IPad as my laptop died on me. So inconsiderate!! I just lost an entire post so I’m grabbing a sangria and starting over.  Cheers! …………

Ok, Girlfriends, I need to rant. I need to blow off a little steam and GET THIS OFF MY CHEST. I don’t want to go to carry around this angst.

So what has my panties in a twist? Take a guess……

My kids? Surprisingly no.

My X-husband, “Mr. MF-Ski”? Nope.

My boss? Ha, ha, no. He has been behaving lately.

I am not pissed about my cellulite, how the refrigerator stinks (again), the high cost of living in the Bay Area or how hard it is to find stylish walking sandals that don’t look like Grandma Wilma’s orthopaedics! 

I am breathing hard because I am FED UP. Enough already!

I have heard too many excuses; excuses like you don’t have time, you don’t have a choice, you don’t have a small waist or a big bank account…… you don’t think your opinion matters, you don’t want to rock the boat, blah, blah, blah!

You don’t want to date until you lose ten pounds. You don’t want to travel until you retire. You don’t want a new job because you don’t like change.  

…….. ………..  ………. …….   You don’t have any problem complaining though. ………that’s the part that annoys me! 

I see your heavy heart. I feel your outrage. I hear your desperation.

Your pain is very familiar to me.

Like you, I chose to play it safe. I lived surrounded by walls built by my own fear. I put everyone else and everything else first. I either numbed or distracted myself to keep from feeling anything. I blamed everyone and everything for my UN-everythingness!! 

Superwoman puts up with bullshit because she can; she’s a fictional character!!! We on the other hand are only human!

I used to live that way but I don’t do that anymore. I gave myself permission to think and act differently. I’m in no way perfect- I still slip up and indulge in a bitchfest or feel sorry for myself.  Progress not perfection, Girlfriends! 

When I was in the elementary school, I pitched an idea to my teacher. We had a trash problem on the playground and I told her that we could solve the issue if we bedazzled our trash cans.  “Let’s make it fun to throw away our trash!” ! Ok, I didn’t use the word bedazzled in 1972 but this is a true story! The project was approved. I moved ahead with my idea. The can said, “FEED ME’ and featured Lucy from The Peanuts.

Cara and her little brother Mike!!

Fear has a way of looking really attractive; like a big colorful trashcan called Lucy who eats your dreams. The more you feed the fear, they more fear grows and keeps you small. 

Fear freezes you.  

Back to the present moment……What really confuses me is why you don’t give yourself permission to think or act differently?

What’s blocking you from making a change? You are an adult. You are intelligent and capable.

You are the one RESPONSIBLE for your life. You are the ONLY ONE responsible for change.

What is holding you back? What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Girlfriend, if this resonates with you then it is time to grow a pair! It is time to clear out whatever is preventing you from signing your permission slip.

I invite you to give yourself permission to do something that you have been longing to do. Give yourself permission TODAY.

This is your loving kick in the butt to stop whining and make a change. You are not going to thrive in this life unless you take risks and sit with discomfort.

LIVE a little! Let me assure you, you are going to be alright. You have everything you need right now.

I am hopeful you will honor the dreams and desires that reside within you.  

What will you give yourself permission to do today? Write out your permission slip to make it real. “I give myself permission to (fill in the blank). Post it in the comments below. Writing it down makes it real. Telling us keeps you accountable!! 

From the heart,

Cara

©2011-2017MyGirlFriendVoice

In case you are wondering about the other things that annoy me:

1. A dear friend that had recent surgery but didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t want to bother us. Let us love on you, Girlfriend!  Accepting help is not a weakness. 

2. Mitch McConnell, The Majority Whip Weiner. Need I say more?

3. My laptop dying before I was ready to replace it! 

4. I am out of FeverTree Tonic. Just as well, there is no cabana boy to make me a cocktail.

5. Mean people.