Where did the year go? The days leading up to summer and the July 4th weekend moved at a snailâs pace and now itâs December 9th. Geez Louise!
While I welcome a cool, rainy winter, once the days lengthen my energy dramatically decreases. I wouldnât say I fall into a funk but my need for reflective solitude and sleep significantly increases. Itâs ironic that my desire for âquiet timeâ falls during one of the most socially demanding seasons of the year.
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What strategy will keep you healthy, the ultimate priority, yet engaged with friends and family? The first step is setting your intention for what you feel is a healthy commitment level â think about what works well for you BEFORE 
the invitations arrive.
My Girlfriend Voiceâs Social Season Survival Tips
1. Strike a balance. You donât have to say yes to EVERY invitation. I prefer a relaxed Sunday evening because Monday mornings come too soon. âThanks for inviting me but I am not available.â Short, simple and timely. Truthful and the sooner the better.
2. Create an EXIT strategy. When you say yes, plan the duration of your visit before you arrive. If you carpool then you are dependent upon someone else. Is it better to drive alone or take a car? I also tip off the hostess that I am stopping by but wonât be able to stay long.
3. Tell the TRUTH. You donât have to make up an elaborate excuse for why you cannot attend or why you plan to leave early.
4. No ghosting. Donât avoid responding because itâs seriously inconsiderate. #dontberude
5. Be mindful of how alcohol and sugar impact your mood. Alcohol definitely impacts my mouth! âTis the season to overindulge but wisely.
For those hostesses I know well, I will share that my anxiety is at itâs highest during the holidays so Iâm striking a balance between the parties and my quiet time.
6. Feeling obligated. There is something about the word âobligationâ that drives me nuts! I am thoroughly grounded in the belief that I always have a choice. Obligation negates choice. If I feel obliged to see someone or attend an event, a kernel of resentment is planted. I feel stuck. I much prefer choosing how I spend my time and with whom I spend it!
My love language is definitely doing for others. And because I equate loving with doing, itâs easy to overdo. Itâs easy and I enjoy it! So how do I strike a healthy balance?
1. I stay present to the sensations in my body. The body doesnât lie. Whats your gut telling you?
2. With curiosity, I take inventory of my feelings. Itâs an objective summary â no shaming.
3. Iâm especially tender with any âshadowâ feelings; sadness, grief, frustration, etc. All feelings are valid.
4. Feelings drive actions. If I want to feel peaceful, what actions will enhance peaceful feelings? I align my actions with how I want to feel.
5. Finally, surround yourself with good people; people who support your growth and overall wellness.
You can also join the conversation on The Girlfriend Gathering; a private (and free!) Facebook...
In the bank parking lot yesterday, a car was backing up not realizing there was a woman walking directly behind them. I grabbed the womanâs arm, saying âwatch out!â and pulled her out of danger. Was she thankful? No. She uttered a monotone response ââŚ..please, I knowâ as she brushed off her sweater.Â
Please what? Please save my life on another day? And you know âwhatâ exactly? Obviously you donât know that those little back up lights mean steer clear of a moving carâs blind spot. Next time I will let you live the consequence of your stupidity.
âCara Ann, what kind of example is that of your Christmas spirit?â Iâm busted. The truth is that there are days when I am tired of being an adult. Or should I say, I am tired of being responsible. I am tired of thinking before I speak. Being nice is seriously overrated. I have exhausted my charm, my patience and my goodwill. Today is one of those days.
I am in a Christmas Crisis.
Example:   Instead of biting my tongue while you complain (again!) about your life, I will tell you to, âget a lifeâ. There are people with real problems, like me. I have been shopping for weeks to find boot cut cords and every damn store has skinny cords. Skinny cords are great for teenagers and super models.  I will however, restrain my urge to surrender to fashion because I am not going to be a âwhat not to wearâ commercial.
Example:   When you talk loudly on your cellphone in the coffee shop, I am going to use my best Samuel L. Jackson impersonation and say, âShut the Fuck Up!â Letâs break this down. You come in, order your low fat two pump 170 degree gingerbread latte and return to your car on average, in less than ten minutes. Your conversation can wait ten minutes until you return to the privacy of your vehicle! I do not care about what she said and what he did or what time Susie needs to go to her birthday party. Text if you have to but please, STFU! The coffee shop is not a confessional, a soap box nor a supernatural bubble where we canât hear your blathering on (and on, and onâŚ..).
Example:   You people that take your (non-service) dogs shopping have to stop. This may come as a surprise but dogs donât like shopping and I donât like to see your dog while I am shopping! I feel qualified to say this because I am a dog lover and dog owner but stores are for people. PleaseâŚâŚleave Fluffy at home. Fluffy needs his beauty sleep. Oh, and the stores that post signs, âservice dogs onlyâ, please grow some balls and enforce the rules.
Example:   The children, pumped on sugar wreaking havoc in restaurants well after their designated bedtime, are like fingernails on a chalkboard. I ask you, what kind of parenting is that? Note: I am also qualified to criticize on this subject having two children of my own. I cannot drink enough to mellow out and then be expected to walk let alone drive to make this experience tolerable. Your babies hop around like caffeinated fleas. Please! Maybe your munchki...
