Christmas Crisis
In the bank parking lot yesterday, a car was backing up not realizing there was a woman walking directly behind them. I grabbed the woman’s arm, saying “watch out!” and pulled her out of danger. Was she thankful? No. She uttered a monotone response “…..please, I know” as she brushed off her sweater.
Please what? Please save my life on another day? And you know “what” exactly? Obviously you don’t know that those little back up lights mean steer clear of a moving car’s blind spot. Next time I will let you live the consequence of your stupidity.
“Cara Ann, what kind of example is that of your Christmas spirit?” I’m busted. The truth is that there are days when I am tired of being an adult. Or should I say, I am tired of being responsible. I am tired of thinking before I speak. Being nice is seriously overrated. I have exhausted my charm, my patience and my goodwill. Today is one of those days.
I am in a Christmas Crisis.
Example: Instead of biting my tongue while you complain (again!) about your life, I will tell you to, “get a life”. There are people with real problems, like me. I have been shopping for weeks to find boot cut cords and every damn store has skinny cords. Skinny cords are great for teenagers and super models. I will however, restrain my urge to surrender to fashion because I am not going to be a “what not to wear” commercial.
Example: When you talk loudly on your cellphone in the coffee shop, I am going to use my best Samuel L. Jackson impersonation and say, “Shut the Fuck Up!” Let’s break this down. You come in, order your low fat two pump 170 degree gingerbread latte and return to your car on average, in less than ten minutes. Your conversation can wait ten minutes until you return to the privacy of your vehicle! I do not care about what she said and what he did or what time Susie needs to go to her birthday party. Text if you have to but please, STFU! The coffee shop is not a confessional, a soap box nor a supernatural bubble where we can’t hear your blathering on (and on, and on…..).
Example: You people that take your (non-service) dogs shopping have to stop. This may come as a surprise but dogs don’t like shopping and I don’t like to see your dog while I am shopping! I feel qualified to say this because I am a dog lover and dog owner but stores are for people. Please……leave Fluffy at home. Fluffy needs his beauty sleep. Oh, and the stores that post signs, “service dogs only”, please grow some balls and enforce the rules.
Example: The children, pumped on sugar wreaking havoc in restaurants well after their designated bedtime, are like fingernails on a chalkboard. I ask you, what kind of parenting is that? Note: I am also qualified to criticize on this subject having two children of my own. I cannot drink enough to mellow out and then be expected to walk let alone drive to make this experience tolerable. Your babies hop around like caffeinated fleas. Please! Maybe your munchkins can keep someone’s dog company AT THEIR HOUSE and it will be a Win-Win situation for all of us.
Example: Why are there so few brown skinned baby dolls for sale? It never occurred to me prior to Saturday, when I needed a gift for an inner city toy drive, that most of the baby dolls don’t look like the children this organization serves. This is not right!!!! I see more diversity in TV commercials and sitcoms but why not on the toy shelf? I may not be able to influence the toy industry but I hope you will join me in being sensitive when you choose your holiday toy donation. I ended up with a remote control car which I hope appeals to all young boys.
Phew…..Somehow writing about my holly jolly-itis has made me feel Ho Ho Sooooo much better! Crisis cloud is lifting! Better yet, no one got hurt in the process. And these issues are not specific to the holiday season—these things annoy the crap out of me year round.
To help secure my recovery, I decided a home decorating channel marathon was a worthy intervention. If I am not organizing to alleviate stress, I love to create something new. Six hours and a bag of cookies later, I am motivated to decorate and update my little Zen Den. I have challenged myself to make my space feel more holiday-ish for as little money as possible, say $25 or less. I’ll let you know how I do!
I have tapped into something quite valuable here. There are quite a few things I/we can all do to alleviate (holiday) stress without damaging anyone (including ourselves!) or anything in the process. Writing about my stress seems to deflate the negative energy surrounding the issue and illuminate the truth. I too remember I have choices in my life. I cannot control others but I can control how I respond.
I am back to sharing cheer and kindness! How will you handle your holiday stresses?
From the heart,
Cara
