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Cutting Down the Tall Poppies #mygirlfriendvoice advice & strategies emotions & emotional inventory haters gonna hate more than a pretty face tall poppy syndrome toxic thinking triggers & the inner critic

Cutting Down the Tall Poppies

You may be able to relate to these thoughts. You are at your exercise class and you can’t help but zero in on the one person present that doesn’t seem to sweat. Her moves are effortless, completely graceful and actually beautiful to observe. I on the other hand grab a sweat rag because I drip rather than glow as soon as I exert any effort! For a few seconds I think I hate that seemingly tight bodied perfect woman!

A few more seconds go by and I stop hating her as my thoughts lighten and move toward gratitude. I feel a sense of awe at her dedication and while I know nothing of her personal story, she works hard at staying healthy. I applaud her. I am inspired by her. I want to be more like her! I’m in love with the perfect girl!

But what if I didn’t let my hateful feelings evaporate? My stinging annoyance would build into burning resentment and soon all of my thinking would be TOXIFIED. Unknowingly, the woman becomes the target of my rage – the dartboard for my dart.

This is an example of Tall Poppy Syndrome. According to the illustrious Wikipedia, it is defined as a pejorative term primarily used in Anglosphere nations to describe a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticized because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.

I can relate to being the Tall Poppy. Being a former beauty queen, you would think I would be comfortable about my appearance but I still have trouble accepting a compliment! I feel far more comfortable hiding in a group – wanting to be average. Please know me as smart, not pretty! I wanted to be beige as to not attract too much attention. I was fighting against my need to shine because somehow shining was and is too dangerous.

I wanted to known by you but not seen by you. I’m complicated that way.

Over the years I have become comfortable in my own skin. I could really appreciate how Selma Hayek said in an interview with Oprah, “You simply have to be who you are. Yes, I am beautiful. I have thighs and a butt. I have cellulite. I fight with it every day. I don’t exercise. I eat pork and I love red wine. But yes, I am beautiful and famous—and yet the things I like about myself have nothing to do with that…..” YES! She is more than her looks or her fame.

Last week a friend asked me how I managed to remain so positive despite years of struggle. She said, “You make life look so easy and sometimes I just have to hate you.” We laughed and I deeply appreciate her honesty. I told her that I still have days when I can’t get off the couch because my emotions overwhelm me but in general I have developed some pretty good coping...

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