While my posts focus on the “inner voice” and managing our critical chatter, today I want to focus on our “outside” voice or how we speak to the world.
In light of the events in Charlottesville, it is critically important to state that I do not support white supremacy or any of their beliefs. It sickens me that there are 917 identified and active hate groups in this country (Southern Poverty Law Center 2017). How is hate a driving force with thousands, actually millions of Americans?
I spent last week observing more than acting. Don’t get me wrong, I am livid. I am sickened, saddened, enraged, threatened and shocked. I felt a shift too. I came to the conclusion that my angry vile words are not going to do anything but contribute to the problem. Let me explain…….
You lose your power and credibility when you spew hate.
Self-righteousness, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, racist language is HATE TALK. Who has the right to diminish the worth of another individual!! I am ashamed that so many Americans feel they are more worthy than another based on the color of their skin, sexual orientation or their religious affiliation.
It’s emotional pollution. Hate comes out of their mouths like smoke from a factory chimney — acrid and heavy.
No one has the right to inflict harm on another. This includes financial, physical and emotional harm.
Arm-chair activists may not realize that posting another article on social media is not enough. We have to do more without entertaining those looking for a fight – confrontation — violence.
Vote with your presence.
Vote with your support.
Vote with your dollars.
Instead of silence, question mistreatment when you see it take place. Instead of walking away, question the water cooler talk that sounds racist. Question everything in an intelligent, determined, curious voice. I want you to ask, “WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?”
As angry as I am, I can’t give in to name calling, shaming and hatred. This is how we will impact the world. Our collective voices WILL make a difference.
Use your voice. Use your words whether written or spoken. Contact your representatives. Participate in your community. Support organizations dedicated to this cause. Act now from a place of compassion, not hate.
Shaming is a catalyst for divisiveness. Let’s inhibit this reaction with peaceful conduct.
Stop the hate. Question everything.
This is not a fight between political parties- it’s a fight for human decency!
“If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention,” Heather Heyer, 32, posted on Facebook before she was killed by an alleged Nazi sympathizer in Charlottesville.
I feel insulated because I live in a very diverse and liberal part of the world. I hadn’t even heard the term “white privilege” until two years ago. I don’t like it one bit yet I...
Perfectly Imperfect Badass
The thrill is in th
e hunt and the hunt I am referring to is treasure hunting for goodies at art fairs and thrift shops. I scored last weekend when I found a lovely handmade necklace. Here is the cool part. The delicate silver chain supports a tiny rectangle that says BADASS. It doesn’t scream BADASS because the word is stamped in Braille. I can wear it 24/7 and not offend anyone; unless you are blind and happen to have your hands around my neck. I am giddy about my secret moniker which serves as a personal reminder that I am enough. I am powerful. I am a BADASS!
Badass sounds great but what I am really describing is confidence. Necklace or not, a confident woman is comfortable in her own skin and defines her personal sense of style. She definitely is in touch with what she desires and takes action toward her goals. She colors inside and outside of the lines! Confident women face their fears while oozing positive energy.
A confident woman appreciates external validation and achievements but she is not dependent upon them. She communicates her power with her walk and her smile. You sense her before you hear her speak.
How do you
find your confidence? Confidence is built from self-love. You confidence reservoir is ready to be filled!
- Make a list of your positive attributes. It doesn’t matter if there is only one thing on your list. Start there. Then love the heck out of that part of you. Celebrate your strengths. Be grateful.
- Post a note on the bathroom mirror reminding you that you are an exceptional human. Set a daily alarm to remind you of your strengths at least once a day.
- Be aware of how you speak to yourself. If you tell yourself you are a loser, you are going to believe you are a loser. Often we speak to ourselves so harshly, much more harshly than we would speak to a friend. The Tiny Talk demons (critical voices) can bring out the worst in anyone.
Confidence ebbs and flows. You can have confidence in some areas of your life, like on the job, and not in others, like with dating. Confidence is a belief in your abilities which is validated by experience.
If you met me you’d likely say I was one of the most confident women you’d ever meet. Yes, I am very confident but I bet you didn’t guess I was also one of the most self-critical women you’d ever meet? My Tiny Talk is dominated with the voice that picks me apart like vultures on fresh road kill. I’ve become “Oscar-worthy” when it comes to acting like nothing bothers me but actually, I am quite sensitive. I like to use visual reminders that I am worthy so if a necklace reminds me that I am an awesome then so be it. Simple strategies are good strategies.
But I blame the necklace for what happened...
