I Vant to be Alone

being alone change general new beginnings unemployed

There are times when you just need to be alone. Decompress, evaluate, cry, binge on TV, sleep, eat cookies, fret, eat more cookies and then WRITE about it.

I’ve found myself requiring more solace than usual lately. Respite and quiet times are healing but to the outside observer, this may look like isolation. In a way I guess I do isolate myself but this is a necessary part of my self-care regime. BUT, if you don’t see me surface after a few days, please check on me. I may have been arrested and hello, there is no internet in jail.

I don’t want to complain but let me take a sec to give frame to my need for space.

The job I have loved for the last 29 months came abruptly to an end on Friday. While I knew it was likely, I told myself I had at least six more weeks before it ended. It isn’t that I haven’t been looking for a new position because I have! My heart was still tied to the company because I worked with really good people (minus one)! Good people who work hard, play hard, laugh at themselves and laugh at me for my creative (a.k.a. critical and controlling) ways. I salute you!

You see, I have only been unemployed once and just for six months. I had a husband to rely on then and my bruised ego didn’t have to worry about paying the bills. Now it is just me. JUST ME and no safely net. Will I be OK? Yes. I will figure things out. I am going to make the most of this opportunity.

Last night I started watching a new series on Netflix where the main character goes to federal prison for carrying drug money once when she was 22 and very stupid. Looking at 15 months in the pen, she tells her fiancé that she plans to get ripped, read all the books on her Amazon wish list and maybe even, learn a craft. I think that this is perfect advice for me!!
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Time to exercise. No excuses about my schedule.

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Read, read, and read. My favorite thing to do!

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Craft– you bought a vintage sewing machine. The possibilities are endless.

I will add one more to the list.

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GET SHIT DONE.

I am starting a list of the things I want to tackle like get a serious grasp of my finances. God willing, I will move from the UNdivorce to the DONEdivorce. Further explore my love of storytelling and find a writing mentor. Boost my visibility as a voice actress and launch a self-marketing campaign. Organize the photos. Get a will. Date, cook, dance and enjoy the company of amazing friends.

Hopelessness is contagious but so is gratitude. I could be angry or I could be happy. The choice is mine. Watch out now, here I come.

From the heart,
CaraW

I Vant to be Alone

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