Beautification Cannot Be Outsourced

advice & strategies beautification cbt emotions & emotional inventory mental wellness negative thinking positive thinking sadness triggers & the inner critic

Last Friday I drove by my neighborhood school and the marquee stated, “Beautification day is cancelled”. What? How could they do that? I was really amazed at my reaction.

Now I don’t have a clue what type of project was planned but it got “my dern thinker ah thinkin”. Why did it get cancelled? Why wasn’t beautification a priority?

One of the many gifts of “growing up and older” is that you realize self-beautification is the key to mastering a happy life. I am not talking about Botox and wearing fancy labels. That would be too easy! I am talking about making the commitment to do whatever you need to do in order to shine from within.

Beautification is shedding the clutter surrounding your heart that fertilizes negative thinking.

It is deciding to let go of what no longer fits, whether that be people, clothing, a job or a habit.

Beautification cannot be outsourced.

Recently I’ve been feeling so much sadness that frankly I worried I may be headed into a depression. But stop the presses! I came to realize that this sadness was different; very different than my time in the DARK PIT. When I was clinically depressed, my brain was mush and there was on ocean between my reality and the real world.

Today my active brain is acknowledging the sadness then reshaping or shedding the thought that creates the sadness. The sadness is in a loading zone—no long term parking allowed!

I’ve never had the courage to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Who wants to do that? Wade through disappointment, jealousy, doubt and fear? I would rather do just about anything else so I became quite comfortable over-scheduling myself or just stuffing those feelings for a later date. With the help of my support posse, I have developed a method I would like to share with you. If you really like it, please send cookies.

Hello there [insert thought here]. Where do you come from? It is like meeting someone new and asking them where they live.
[Thought speaks].
1. How can I change this thought from a negative one into a positive one?
2. Or is it such a useless thought that I can just let it go? (no re-gifting please)

For example, my “X” repeatedly called me the N-word; NEEDY. Sadly, I believed him. I told myself if I were smarter, stronger and worked harder, I could overcome my neediness. Well, thank goodness the cray cray fog has lifted!! I turn that negative thought to a positive one like this:

Although he says I am needy, I simply want to feel connected to that stupid Mother Fucker. It is a basic human need.

By the way, the thought doesn’t have to come from someone else. It could be your critical voice speaking to you. Same method applies! And don’t forget, if you like this, please send cookies!

From the heart,

Cara

Beautification Cannot Be Outsourced

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