I may be wasting my time with an on-line dating service!! Who knew that I would have been amongst such interesting men in the waiting room of the tire store yesterday?
By the way, I really appreciate all of the comments I received on my last post when I asked for your input on selecting the best single word to describe myself on my dating profile. Susan suggested CAPTIVATING and it stuck with me. It is hard to say with a straight face but I will practice until I can do it without giggling. I am a captivating woman.
Back to my headline story! The place to meet men is…… the local tire store. The place was packed with men. How lucky for me that all of our tire issues waited to pop up until after the holidays. Plus how a person spends their time waiting says a great deal about them, doesn’t it?
I came prepared with a book, an iced coffee, two cell phones and money in my checking account. I noticed a handsome man waiting with the cutest reader glasses. Not the cheap readers from the drug store — he dropped a dime on this pair. Plus when he took a call on his cell phone, he spoke quietly. So quietly it was difficult to eavesdrop! Damn him.
This is how our conversation started. There is deep rumbling grumbling noise. I looked at this fellow and said, “That sounded like an earthquake!” to which he replied, “I study resonance and because you feel an earthquake before you hear it, an earthquake of that volume would have knocked us off our feet.” Well butter my butt and call me biscuit! You may think that sounded arrogant but I thought it sounded oh so INTRIGUIGING. A smart man in my midst! I’ll call him Mr. Smart.
Mr. Smart inquires, “Are you a writer?” In my mind, this question is the equivalent of saying you are exquisitely beautiful and your butt looks perky in those pants. I had mentioned to my therapist just this week that recently I have been asked by eight people (YES, I counted) if I work in retail. Not that there is anything wrong with retail but how does one look when they work in retail? Why don’t you think I work as a personal chef or fly for NASA?
Back to my story…… “Why yes, I am a writer of sorts. I have a blog about common sense things. It is both humorous and inspirational.” I left out the part that I write about the voices in my head as I did not want to scare him away, and boy did it feel good to say I am a writer!!! I have never disclosed this skill publically. I also shared that I wish to write more and possibly publish an article in a magazine this year.
We continued on the topic of goals. Mr. Smart wants to avoid drama or as he phrased it, “Can’t do the CRAZY!”, and launch a new company. I am giddy with excitement. A smart man with motivation!
My Girlfriend Voice pops up. “Easy girl! Don’t scare the lad! You are starting to salivate.”
The conversation continues and the next thing I know, we have another gentleman, I’ll call him Magnum, joining our fun. I can hear a soothing narrator voice in my head saying, “Watch the intellectual males as they try to impress the lone female at the table. This is primal behavior at its very best.”
You may wonder why I call him Magnum? Well, dear friends, Magnum brags that owns 19 hand guns, including a submachine gun and a cannon! With a twinkle in his eye as he leans in, “Normally when I tell a lady that I have an arsenal, she walks away afraid; unless of course if I am in Nevada. Chicks there love guns. You must be open-minded because you just seem curious instead of afraid.”
I swear this happened. I can’t make this stuff up!
“Yes, I am curious. Why do you have so many guns?”
“Because I want to and it is my right,” he quipped.
There is a little activity around the table now as a tall, quiet man joins our threesome. He pulls out his wallet and the two men compare laminated cards. I am a little confused and momentarily feel left out. The soothing narrator voice in my head says, “Let’s take a closer look. They are showing each other their CWP’s, or Concealed Weapon Permits.”
I have to know, “So have you ever shot someone?”
I ask, “But could you shoot someone?”
“Yes, but that is not the point.”
I say, “The point of studying Martial Arts is not to fight. You are saying the point of carrying a gun is not to use it?”
“Yes, ma’am, I am.” (I never like being called Ma’am. I like Mademoiselle or Master but not Ma’am)
Now I was speechless. Magnum starts to drone on about how bad liberals are for gun policy to which I say it was unfair to group all liberals into one bucket. “Should I group all gun slingers into one bucket?” After that, Magnum apologized for interrupting Mr. Smart’s coquettish dialogue with me and sauntered away. So did the tall modern day cowboy from Florida. His car was ready.
Today I received a text from Mr. Smart. Of course I exchanged contact information. DUH! It appears we may have a wonderful new friendship on the horizon. Isn’t life amazing? Be open to possibility and see what transpires. I can’t wait for next week when I get the oil changed. Who knows what shall unfold when given the opportunity.
May your 2013 resonate with wonder!
From the heart,
Editors Note: I took this image from FanIQ.com and then added my own little touches to match my story. I don’t have a name to credit but it was important to say something!