On Friday’s, I volunteer with a day care program designed for people with early stage Alzheimer’s. I have the good fortune of selecting material for a reading and discussion hour. Today we talked about how a mother wished she had more patience and was never angry with her children but Mister Fred Rogers, educator and TV host, advised that the best thing we can do for our children is to express a wide range of emotions, including anger (just appropriately!) so that our children learn healthy habits.
I asked the class, “What is something important you wish to teach or talk to a child about?” The list was long but the answers that registered most with me were happiness, the power of prayer, compassion and the importance of helping others. I couldn’t agree more, adding my two cents, perfectionism is overrated.
I also mentioned that at my office we have something called COURAGEOUS DIALOGUE, a major factor that attracted me the company. If you have an issue with someone at work, regardless of their position, you ask for a Courageous Dialogue (CD) where you come together to work things out. Each person has the opportunity to hear the other one out, one on one, without judgment and under confidentiality. I have used the process and there is nothing more refreshing than hashing out a miscommunication before it festers into a larger problem.
My personal life isn’t always so tidy. Today I got an email that angered me to such a degree that I was speechless. If I were a cartoon character, you would have seen steam blasting out of my ears, my eyes the size of saucers and my hands accusingly placed on my hips. In real life, the surge of blood pressure caused a bloody nose, nature’s way of getting me to sit down and breathe, so I couldn’t get in the car and go confront the offender.
I can’t remember the last time I felt such disgust and rage. That part doesn’t really worry me – after all I’m only human. The real danger was that I started to doubt myself. When the anger left my body, it took along my self-esteem for company.
I phoned a friend. I took the high road and didn’t respond. I’ve learned that TWA or “typing/texting while angry” leads to bigger trouble so I shut off the computer, washed my face and cuddled with my doggie. I have a very good support system!
This is what gets me. I am perplexed by people who don’t have the integrity or maybe it is the courage to communicate honestly. These people, no I’ll call them gutless eunuchs, hide behind insulting emails, gossip and lies. These adults really disappoint me.
Listen, just do me a favor and stop playing this stupid game. We don’t have to be friends.
I’ll do you a favor. I won’t spend time with you so you won’t be reminded of how insanely shallow and insecure you are. I will go even further not to tell you what I think of you and your issues because I am not cruel nor is it my place.
You can be sure of this. I won’t be giving you the satisfaction of a response to your provocation because you are not worth the time and energy. You expected a vitriolic assault but HA HA, there is far more power in my silence.
My self-esteem is back. And it brought with it my ability to hold a grudge. This grudge is going to propel me forward to prove that you are not going to get in the way of my happiness and my success. You need to grow up, grow a pair and get the hell out of my way.
Finally, thank you for the opportunity to remind myself just how absolutely amazing I am!
TGIF = Thank Goodness I’m Fabulous. I never needed you but it took until now to realize it. You just keep living in the damp greyness other there and I’ll stay in the luscious light over here. Now you’ll be living in my shadow and I’m starting to feel sorry for you. Well, just a little bit.
From the heart,