Beautification Cannot Be Outsourced

March 17, 2014 § 4 Comments

Last Friday I drove by my neighborhood school and the marquee stated, “Beautification day is cancelled”. What?  How could they do that?  I was really amazed at my reaction.

Now I don’t have a clue what type of project was planned but it got “my dern thinker ah thinkin”.  Why did it get cancelled?  Why wasn’t beautification a priority?

One of the many gifts of “growing up and older” is that you realize self-beautification is the key to mastering a happy life.  I am not talking about Botox and wearing fancy labels.  That would be too easy!  I am talking about making the commitment to do whatever you need to do in order to shine from within.

Let-True-Beauty-Shine-From-Within

Beautification is shedding the clutter surrounding your heart that   fertilizes negative thinking. 

It is deciding to let go of what no longer fits, whether that be people, clothing, a job or a habit.

Beautification cannot be outsourced. 

 

 

 

Recently I’ve been feeling so much sadness that frankly I worried I may be headed into a depression.  But stop the presses!  I came to realize that this sadness was different; very different than my time in the DARK PIT.  When I was clinically depressed, my brain was mush and there was on ocean between my reality and the real world.

Today my active brain is acknowledging the sadness then reshaping or shedding the thought that creates the sadness.  The sadness is in a loading zone—no long term parking allowed!

I’ve never had the courage to sit with uncomfortable feelings.  Who wants to do that?  Wade through disappointment, jealousy, doubt and fear?  I would rather do just about anything else so I became quite comfortable over-scheduling myself or just stuffing those feelings for a later date.  With the help of my support posse, I have developed a method I would like to share with you.  If you really like it, please send cookies.

  1.  Hello there [insert thought here].  Where do you come from?  It is like meeting someone new and asking them where they live.
  2. [Thought speaks].
    1. How can I change this thought from a negative one into a positive one?
    2. Or is it such a useless thought that I can just let it go?  (no re-gifting please)

For example, my “X” repeatedly called me the N-word;   NEEDY.  Sadly, I believed him.  I told myself if I were smarter, stronger and worked harder, I could overcome my neediness.  Well, thank goodness the cray cray fog has lifted!!   I turn that negative thought to a positive one like this:

Although he says I am needy, I simply want to feel connected to that stupid Mother Fucker.  It is a basic human need.

By the way, the thought doesn’t have to come from someone else.  It could be your critical voice speaking to you.  Same method applies!  And don’t forget, if you like this, please send cookies!

From the heart,

CaraW

©2014MyGirlfriendVoice

(Art by Shanti Ritggers found on TeenSpeak.org)

Lessons Learned

July 3, 2013 § 3 Comments

she's backHello there friends! Wondering where the heck I have been? Well, let me tell you, I have been “embracing change”. So as I nurse my heat wave induced headache and my second pineapple margarita, I am happy to bring you up to date. « Read the rest of this entry »

The Ah Hah Moment……

September 10, 2012 § 3 Comments

There is nothing like a trip to another part of the world where you don’t speak the language!  Not only do you have to rely on your intuition and read non-verbal signals, you have plenty of time to think and practice surrendering to the moment.

I traveled to Italy to attend an international conference on pain.  While my day job looks at the science of pain, I find myself drawn to the developments in the psychological management of pain.  In one particular conversation with a vivacious Physical Therapist, I shared my personal “health” philosophy. Although I am in good health, the pain in my life is emotionally driven therefore I must focus on finding happiness.  She quickly placed her hand on my arm and said, “Do you mean finding meaningfulness or is it just happiness you seek?”  « Read the rest of this entry »

Guest House by Rumi

July 17, 2012 § Leave a comment

I couldn’t help but love this poem by Rumi.  I have so many things to write about this week that I am having trouble settling on just one idea.  In the meantime, enjoy this quiet reflection titled, “Guest House”.

♥     ♥     ♥

This being human is a guest house

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Getting By With a Little Help From My “FRIENDS”

July 5, 2012 § 4 Comments

You can always tell how out of control my life feels by the number of organizing projects I complete in a week.  For instance, there is something intensely satisfying after I clean my desk drawer, delete useless computer files or organize a closet.  It is only Saturday night (yes, I chose to stay home and clean!) and I’ve run out of things to organize while chaotic worries jump around in my brain.  Tomorrow I am going to move to my “creative projects” like the amazingly funky dresser I bought for $15.  Once I clean it up and paint it, I’ll move it into my home office – then I can re-organize for another full day!

I joke with my therapist saying how good my silverware drawer looks after an emotional week.  Organizing my silverware drawer is a technique I use when my emotions are spiraling out of control.  I line up the forks, spoons and knives in pretty fashion and ten minutes later they lie there like little compliant soldiers.  Whatever was bothering me seems long gone.  You may call this crazy but I don’t care — it’s simple and it works.

I can’t control the people and situations in my life but I can control the heck out of my flatware! « Read the rest of this entry »

If You Are Struggling….

May 30, 2012 § 2 Comments

For most of my adult life I did not want anyone to know that things weren’t rosy behind the white picket fence.  I thought if I admitted my struggle, it was a negative reflection on my character.  It meant I was weak, incompetent, lazy, and maybe even stupid.  Pretty harsh words, huh? 

I was acting a part.  I was the perfect wife, mother, friend and professional.  What I didn’t know was that if you play the same role for years, you begin to forget who you are.  You drift further and further away from your true self and become a character from your imaginary life; just going through the motions. « Read the rest of this entry »

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