She’s Baaaaack!!

I’ve worked in sales for twenty years so I am used to rejection. I audition for voice over gigs almost daily. It is uber competitive. Again, I am used to rejection. I celebrate the process—I really do!

Now I am experiencing rejection in another dimension, my love life. It sucks big time.

First let me vent. If you use an on-line dating service and someone takes the time to write you an email, please respond EVEN IF it is to say no thank you. I can’t believe that these guys have hundreds of responses to wade through. Where are people’s manners? Thank you.  I feel better now.

I took the plunge and expressed interest in a man and after an incredible first date, we still haven’t connected for our second date.   There is a steady stream of texts assuring me of his interest.

“Maybe you are just not that appealing to him, you know or maybe he already has a girlfriend?” WTF? These are the words of an old voice, but a voice new to this blog. Let me introduce you to Nikki Not Good Enough. She is perfect in every way–it is me that is not good enough. I thought I left her behind at a previous address but she’s baaaaaaaack! Continue reading

Be Careful What You Wish For!

What a night!  Attending a dinner party on a school night seemed like such an illicit affair! Delicious food and even more delicious company!  We sat at the dining room table and used the good china! I wouldn’t have cared if we had been served frozen waffles on paper plates.  I am grateful for the opportunity to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

There was a spiritual kinship amongst the guests; five women who have reinvented themselves at least once if not twice in their lives.  Women who shine because they possess the fine quality of being authentic; comfortable in the skin they embody. Continue reading

The Force….

The Force…

For many years when I to had to tackle a huge task, especially a stressful situation, I would resort to my super hero powers.   I channeled something to the likes of Xena Warrior Princess.  I’d have the grit and energy of a fierce mama bear protecting her cubs but I’d be glowing sexy hot donning a leather skirt and bikini top.  Fighting for the greater good while kicking ass!

When I wasn’t channeling Xena, I comfortably fell into my other mode; the Gumby mode.   Gumby was cute and flexible and a perfect shade of green.  Gumby bends over backward with ease, happily putting others needs in front of his/her own.  BUT when I became Gumby, I’d ultimately stretch myself too thin and become no good to anyone.  Flexibility was a exhausting!

There was no middle mode or neutral gear.  I was either Xena or Gumby or kinda of blank; lights on but no one home.  Emotions were tucked away for another time because I had little time (or desire) to feel unsettled.  It was quite exhausting to jump from one extreme to the other but I knew no other way.  It wasn’t like my friends and I were talking about these things.  We all had perfect lives; or so we thought. Continue reading