Get Me Off this Damn Thing!!!

img_0569The Emotional Roller Coaster.  The constant ups and downs; extreme highs and the lowest of lows. You alternate between exhilarated and devastated; passionate and detached.

How did you get on the damn roller coaster in the first place?

 

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The Force….

The Force…

For many years when I to had to tackle a huge task, especially a stressful situation, I would resort to my super hero powers.   I channeled something to the likes of Xena Warrior Princess.  I’d have the grit and energy of a fierce mama bear protecting her cubs but I’d be glowing sexy hot donning a leather skirt and bikini top.  Fighting for the greater good while kicking ass!

When I wasn’t channeling Xena, I comfortably fell into my other mode; the Gumby mode.   Gumby was cute and flexible and a perfect shade of green.  Gumby bends over backward with ease, happily putting others needs in front of his/her own.  BUT when I became Gumby, I’d ultimately stretch myself too thin and become no good to anyone.  Flexibility was a exhausting!

There was no middle mode or neutral gear.  I was either Xena or Gumby or kinda of blank; lights on but no one home.  Emotions were tucked away for another time because I had little time (or desire) to feel unsettled.  It was quite exhausting to jump from one extreme to the other but I knew no other way.  It wasn’t like my friends and I were talking about these things.  We all had perfect lives; or so we thought. Continue reading