I can’t remember feeling this happy in a very long time so of course, I don’t want the weekend to end. This weekend I was celebrating my birthday with friends. Lydia made me a tiara that said, “Nothing could be finer than to be a 49er!” Yes indeed, I’m feeling FINE at forty nine!
I did however have a moment where my Girlfriend Voice had to kick my butt. Simone and I were looking at photos and my eyes immediately went to, dare I even admit this, to my stomach and my arms. Yes, I forgot the joy on my face. Yes, I forgot what was captured in the moment. I bet you this. Every single person reviewing photos did the same exact thing when they looked at their own image.
Did any of the ten people in the room even notice that I had a muffin top? Certainly no one felt nauseous when I took my sweater off to reveal bare arms. No one lost their appetite because of my wiggly jigglies! It is all in my mind’s eye.
Why are we so critical of ourselves? What is the root of this self-criticism?
- When we are young, someone criticizes or teases us and this creates a “hot spot”.
- The hot spot is a vulnerable area or topic. If you were teased for a big nose, you are likely going to be self-conscious of your nose for eternity! I was teased for having a flat butt– called “pancake”! To this day I don’t appreciate my derriere.
- Our personal definition of “beautiful” somehow doesn’t apply to our self.
- We judge ourselves far more harshly than we judge others.
- Our minds magnify our self-imposed imperfections and remind us continually of our self-identified flaws.
Unfortunately living with criticism and self-loathing is easier than accepting and loving ourselves.
It makes me mad to even state that but it is the truth. Knowing this, how can we manage or even better, overcome our “hot spots”?
Focus more on what IS right and less on what you don’t like or deem isn’t good enough.
Accentuate the positive. Be grateful.
When all else fails, keep a sense of humor……
I’m sitting on the couch in my PJ’s and the lyric comes to mind, “If loving me is wrong, I don’t want to be right”. I love my muffin top and my wiggly bare arms as much as I love cupcakes and champagne. I’m going to dedicate my 49th year to happily loving my unique self. I hope you’ll join me and celebrate all that is YOU too!
From the heart,