The Permission Slip 

Oopsie! I had a premature post there a little bit ago – hopefully that won’t happen again. I’m using the WordPress site on my IPad as my laptop died on me. So inconsiderate!! I just lost an entire post so I’m grabbing a sangria and starting over.  Cheers! …………

Ok, Girlfriends, I need to rant. I need to blow off a little steam and GET THIS OFF MY CHEST. I don’t want to go to carry around this angst.

So what has my panties in a twist? Take a guess……

My kids? Surprisingly no.

My X-husband, “Mr. MF-Ski”? Nope.

My boss? Ha, ha, no. He has been behaving lately.

I am not pissed about my cellulite, how the refrigerator stinks (again), the high cost of living in the Bay Area or how hard it is to find stylish walking sandals that don’t look like Grandma Wilma’s orthopaedics! 

I am breathing hard because I am FED UP. Enough already!

I have heard too many excuses; excuses like you don’t have time, you don’t have a choice, you don’t have a small waist or a big bank account…… you don’t think your opinion matters, you don’t want to rock the boat, blah, blah, blah!

You don’t want to date until you lose ten pounds. You don’t want to travel until you retire. You don’t want a new job because you don’t like change.  

…….. ………..  ………. …….   You don’t have any problem complaining though. ………that’s the part that annoys me! 

I see your heavy heart. I feel your outrage. I hear your desperation.

Your pain is very familiar to me.

Like you, I chose to play it safe. I lived surrounded by walls built by my own fear. I put everyone else and everything else first. I either numbed or distracted myself to keep from feeling anything. I blamed everyone and everything for my UN-everythingness!! 

Superwoman puts up with bullshit because she can; she’s a fictional character!!! We on the other hand are only human!

I used to live that way but I don’t do that anymore. I gave myself permission to think and act differently. I’m in no way perfect- I still slip up and indulge in a bitchfest or feel sorry for myself.  Progress not perfection, Girlfriends! 

When I was in the elementary school, I pitched an idea to my teacher. We had a trash problem on the playground and I told her that we could solve the issue if we bedazzled our trash cans.  “Let’s make it fun to throw away our trash!” ! Ok, I didn’t use the word bedazzled in 1972 but this is a true story! The project was approved. I moved ahead with my idea. The can said, “FEED ME’ and featured Lucy from The Peanuts.

Cara and her little brother Mike!!

Fear has a way of looking really attractive; like a big colorful trashcan called Lucy who eats your dreams. The more you feed the fear, they more fear grows and keeps you small. 

Fear freezes you.  

Back to the present moment……What really confuses me is why you don’t give yourself permission to think or act differently?

What’s blocking you from making a change? You are an adult. You are intelligent and capable.

You are the one RESPONSIBLE for your life. You are the ONLY ONE responsible for change.

What is holding you back? What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Girlfriend, if this resonates with you then it is time to grow a pair! It is time to clear out whatever is preventing you from signing your permission slip.

I invite you to give yourself permission to do something that you have been longing to do. Give yourself permission TODAY.

This is your loving kick in the butt to stop whining and make a change. You are not going to thrive in this life unless you take risks and sit with discomfort.

LIVE a little! Let me assure you, you are going to be alright. You have everything you need right now.

I am hopeful you will honor the dreams and desires that reside within you.  

What will you give yourself permission to do today? Write out your permission slip to make it real. “I give myself permission to (fill in the blank). Post it in the comments below. Writing it down makes it real. Telling us keeps you accountable!! 

From the heart,

Cara

©2011-2017MyGirlFriendVoice

In case you are wondering about the other things that annoy me:

1. A dear friend that had recent surgery but didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t want to bother us. Let us love on you, Girlfriend!  Accepting help is not a weakness. 

2. Mitch McConnell, The Majority Whip Weiner. Need I say more?

3. My laptop dying before I was ready to replace it! 

4. I am out of FeverTree Tonic. Just as well, there is no cabana boy to make me a cocktail.

5. Mean people.  

 

 

 

 

There’s a New Voice in Town!

2017-05-24 22.13.36
I believe in getting familiar with all of the voices in my head.  You might remember me mentioning some of them in previous posts.  I “humanize” these voices – not sure that anyone ever told me to do that but it made perfect sense to me.  I want to meet “face to face” with Penny  Perfectionist, Bitchy Becky, Anxious Abbie and the rest of that motley crew who contribute to the negative banter. My Girlfriend Voice lives with those mean girls and helps to keep them in check.

This weekend a new Voice had her debut. Let’s call her Warrior Woman. Rather than REACTING,  she RESPONDS from a place of power and passion. She is not to be silenced or shunned.  She is a fierce Momma – unleashed to lead and educate. It’s extra cool that this happens to be my 100th post!  Continue reading

Cel-e-brate Good Times, Come On!

4 bday

Cel-e-brate Good Times, Come On!

Hello!  Celebrate (NOT celibate) Good Times! COME ON!!  Four years ago I published my first blog on My Girlfriend Voice. Yahoo!   I am grateful for the opportunity and courage to share my life with you.  Later this week I am taking off on a solo trip of a lifetime and during my adventure, I will be reflecting on the stories I have shared with you. I will also invest some time thinking about what may unfold in future posts.

I feel more empowered than ever that my voice is one that has a place in the world and that my voice may help someone; either with a good old fashioned eye roll, a belly laugh or most importantly, lessen their sense of isolation.  You are not alone.

So while I am away, enjoy a few of my previous posts.  Here is the one that started it all!! Continue reading

Hello world! Welcome to My Girlfriend Voice

Hello world! Welcome to My Girlfriend Voice

One day I was sitting in traffic when I noted that my critical voice must have gone on sabbatical.  I was keeping company with a new voice, more comparable to a trusted girlfriend.  She is realistic, always supportive and wise.   At times, a tad sassy!   While I don’t believe I can completely squelch my critical voice, I can minimize her with the banter of my new BFF, My Girlfriend Voice.

Call me crazy, I agree but it is the good kind of happy crazy!  Seriously though,  what types of info does my Girlfriend Voice affectionately whisper in my ear?

Examples

  1. On receiving feedback on a project:  You could take those comments personally or take them  seriously.   It’s not about you here.  Don’t take it personally.
  2. When the teenager becomes the “mean-ager”:   Breathe.   This child is trapped in a hormonally laden body and someday you will like each other again. (Been there, believe me!)
  3. After a particularly frustrating day please remember, you are good enough ….just as you are….in this very moment.    Pause and celebrate your splendid self.

So how did my Girlfriend Voice evolve?  I won’t bore you with the details of what I affectionately term “my decade of drama or DD” but let me say that I was continually given more than I thought I could handle.  While I manifested a Martha Stewart exterior, my interior was one hot mess.  Talk about tumultuous!  At the same time, I was approaching the magical period in life where you learn who you are and where your passions reside.  Much easier said than done and if you don’t agree, you should stop reading here.  We can’t be friends. Continue reading