Use Your “Outside” Voice — Question Everything!

While my posts focus on the “inner voice” and managing our critical chatter, today I want to focus on our “outside” voice or how we speak to the world.

In light of the events in Charlottesville, it is critically important to state that I do not support white supremacy or any of their beliefs. It sickens me that there are 917 identified and active hate groups in this country (Southern Poverty Law Center 2017). How is hate a driving force with thousands, actually millions of Americans?

I spent last week observing more than acting. Don’t get me wrong, I am livid. I am sickened, saddened, enraged, threatened and shocked. I felt a shift too.  I came to the conclusion that my angry vile words are not going to do anything but contribute to the problem. Let me explain…….

You lose your power and credibility when you spew hate.  Continue reading

Stepping into Uncertainty

I feel a type of rawness these days.  A rawness resulting from stripping away most of my blame, shame and guilt.  I’ve shed the heavy layered untruths and all of what no longer suits me.

I have discarded the limitations I’ve carried around since youth like a snake sheds it skin.

A bright light now shines into my heart, illuminating the bruises and battle wounds; sparking optimism. Continue reading

Like Puppies and Toddlers…..

“Tell me, where does it hurt?”  This is a common question, right?  When someone isn’t feeling well, we want to know the source of the discomfort.  We add up the symptoms to zero in on a diagnosis.  Most times their suffering is the result of a virus or bacterial infection – nothing too serious, but do you realize that you can also suffer physically from emotional pain?  We hold our emotions in our body, tucked away to be forgotten or dealt with at another time.

Like puppies and toddlers, our emotions can wreak havoc if left unattended for too long. Continue reading

A Love Letter on your Birthday

bday candlesDearest Delightful Cara,

It’s almost your birthday and I wanted to write you a love letter.

Not so long ago you used to have a secret.

You never wanted to tell people how you felt.

To struggle was to fail.

To fail was unforgivable.

There were many times that your heart said, “I can’t take any more of “THAT”!

You hurt so badly that nothing held your head above water.

Your thinking was black and white and your words were void of color.sad

You got sick and tired of being strong.

The sadness settled into your cells and paralyzed you.

That was before.  That was then. Continue reading

Perfectly Imperfect Badass

Perfectly Imperfect Badass

usbThe thrill is in the hunt and the hunt I am referring to is treasure hunting for goodies at art fairs and thrift shops.  I scored last weekend when I found a lovely handmade necklace.  Here is the cool part.  The delicate silver chain supports a tiny rectangle that says BADASS.  It doesn’t scream BADASS because the word is stamped in Braille.  I can wear it 24/7 and not offend anyone; unless you are blind and happen to have your hands around my neck.  I am giddy about my secret moniker which serves as a personal reminder that I am enough.  I am powerful.  I am a BADASS!  Continue reading

How Big is Your Brave?

note to self i am braveThere are certain songs that grab your attention because you think that the lyrics were either written about you or just for you.  One of those songs is “BRAVE” by Sara Bareilles.  While I have not seen the movie, I do love the song.  It starts out:

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way words do
And they settle ‘neathy your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
(now the chorus)
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

BRAVE.  I used to define bravery as taking action in the face of life threatening danger.  Police officers, firefighters, and soldiers are brave but now I realize I was wrong.  Without diminishing these examples of bravery, it is only fair to acknowledge that bravery includes a far larger group of people. Continue reading

Cutting Down the Tall Poppies

mulesandmilanosCutting Down the Tall Poppies

You may be able to relate to these thoughts.  You are at your exercise class and you can’t help but zero in on the one person present that doesn’t seem to sweat.  Her moves are effortless, completely graceful and actually beautiful to observe.   I on the other hand grab a sweat rag because I drip rather than glow as soon as I exert any effort!  For a few seconds I think I hate that seemingly tight bodied perfect woman!

A few more seconds go by and I stop hating her as my thoughts lighten and move toward gratitude.  I feel a sense of awe at her dedication and while I know nothing of her personal story, she works hard at staying healthy.  I applaud her.  I am inspired by her.  I want to be more like her! I’m in love with the perfect girl!

But what if I didn’t let my hateful feelings evaporate?  My stinging annoyance would build into burning resentment and soon all of my thinking would be TOXIFIED.  Unknowingly, the woman becomes the target of my rage – the dartboard for my dart.  Continue reading