Barter with My Banter!

Girlfriend time is the very best medicine!  Friday night, my hottie friend, we affectionately call her “Mama”, joined me for Zumba class followed by dinner at a new place close to the gym.  The food was phenomenal, the eye candy delicious but the laughs we shared were the highlight of our evening.    Thanks, Mamacita!

I related to Mama that earlier in the day I had shared stories with the Seniors I work with related to the theme of the three R’s, “Reduce, Reuse and Recycle”.  For a little flavor, I had looked on Craig’s List to see what categories were listed if you wanted to buy or sell something.   This in fact how I have proudly purchased half of the furniture in my home. Why buy new?  The thrill is in the hunt.

Under the GENERAL sales category, I could buy a Columbarium Niche (Ground floor, Historical) for $7500.  I had to Google this term as I had no idea if they were selling a car or a timeshare in a tropical climate!  For a lack of a better description, it is similar to a locker for your loved one’s remains at the cemetery.  Seems pricey for a single purpose cupboard but what do I know!

There is a FREE category with things like mattresses, home appliances, moving boxes and dirt.  There is a 16 foot trailer missing both axels and wheels—If only I were in the market for a big box!

What intrigued me the most was the BARTER category!  There lies a cornucopia of treasures like a set of red Puma shoelaces.  Yes, just one pair with an estimated value of $5.  There is a pommel horse needing a new home as well as 50 rolls of very delicate blue tape.  Yes, delicate.  Here is the posting:

50 rolls of scotch blue 2″ 60 day tape very delicate,
sells for 9 to 13 dollars a roll .. (300 is lowest I’ll go)
would like to trade for Ipad … but open to other ideas

Or this posting….

Robots need home!  These robots come from a smoke free home…willing to sale or trade for a working freestyle bmx trick bike or working Ipad or something i haven’t thought of…take them all or just your favorites…

(thank goodness they haven’t lived with second hand smoke!)

barter ala mode

Well hells bells. little lady!  I want an Ipad and bartering may be the perfect avenue for me.  What can I trade?

Since I became perimenopausal, my psychic abilities are rather inconsistent so I am taking that out of my repertoire.  I have publically confessed to being a part time people hater so I can’t do anything face to face or with happy people.  My best asset (drumroll please), is My Girlfriend Voice!  That smart little voice in my head that lovingly supports me through thick and thin, the highs and lows.

Let me support you! Yes!  Ask me a question.  Seek my advice.  You can only get it here from Yours Truly!  I am going to post this ad:

I am willing to trade soulful, wise and honest advice on topics such as self-care, relationships, finding happiness and living an authentic life.  Looking to trade my advice for a working Ipad. 

Disclaimer:  I am not a medical professional nor I do not guarantee results.  I may tell you what you don’t want to hear.  This ad should in no way be construed as an offer for sex. 

PS.  No whiners or mean people, please.

Can’t wait to see what happens!

From the heart,



8 thoughts on “Barter with My Banter!

  1. Even if i did not receive a shout out from my hottie friend, this would still be one of my favorite blogs although my reply would have been more succinct:) Thanks for introducing me to Zumba – what a fun and challenging work out that is perfect in the quest for Celeste 2.0 to get her pre-hubby body and groove back.

    I am assuming the 50 rolls of tape “fell” off a truck. LOL –

    The best girlfriend’s are the ones where you look at your watch and can not believe how late it is. You kept me out way past my bedtime with good fun, bartender flirting and fellowship. Ugh, I chickened out of the 5 second flirt twice today. I have a goal to complete the task before the end of the month. Next outing we can discuss my progress.

    I can not spare my iPad but I am willing to accept your barter and can offer my loyal friendship and 15 ball point pens – both black and blue ink. Gently used by a non pen cap chewer. Thanks for being such a joy to be around and an inspiration for handling adversity and enjoying life.


    • Mamacita, You crack me up! I tried the 5 second flirt at a stoplight tonight in Berkeley and the guy walked over to my car which freaked the hell out of me! Good thing I got a green light or you would have heard about me on the morning news. I will be more careful with my flirting prowess going forward.
      By the way, my son eyeballed me when I rolled in totally sober (DUI check point in my hood which by the way they advertise in the newspaper so you can plan your route accordingly) and he said, “I thought you were going to be in by 9:30”. I said, “Yeah but you know, I just lost track of time!”. He said, “You could have called. I was worried.” This sudden role reversal is surreal. Weird when your kids act like adults and sound you like sounded for the last six years. All I got to say is, “Paybacks are hell! This adult is entitled to a little fun.”
      Have a good week! B.r.e.a.t.h.e! Love ya, CaraW


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