A Haunting Question

The Christmas holiday in my little Zen Den was simply wonderful. I hope that you too enjoyed a lovely December celebration whether it was alone or with family and friends.

There are many things that could (and did!) stress me out over the holidays. See my blog entry called “Christmas Crisis” if you are curious. However this year I experienced a new pressure. I felt the pressure to “be in a relationship” or at least have a date every time I attended a holiday party.

Why does it really matter?

Why does the pressure seem higher for single people at the holidays? There are millions of people out there dreaming of ending their dysfunctional relationships. They are envious of people like me eating take-out food in front of the TV while they have to dazzle others with witty conversation and their understanding of current events.

Is it the cold weather that drives the desire to hold hands and cozily cuddle up?
Is it primal behavior?
Or is it just bull shit?

Well, I am going to put a scratch to this itch and pony up. That sounded really strange! Let me clarify. I am officially in search of a relationship. Correction, please. I’ll start with trying to converse with an interesting gentleman!!!! I’ll take it slow. I am search of a quality date.

It makes a great deal of sense to try on-line dating. There is a nice safety net with virtual communication. I can screen out those that can’t spell or read! I can paste my profile and hope that I attract someone who matches my list of 59 “must haves”. Just kidding—I only have a few “must haves” like you MUST be single, kind, loyal, honest and intelligent. OK, a few more. You must be able to support yourself and communicate well. OK, OK. And you must live within 30 miles of me. There.

One of the dating sites asked a question that I don’t know how to answer. I am haunted by this damn question. Help me with this, “What is one thing that you want people to know about you?” List one thing. One thing only.

OK, if I let my thoughts fly, I could easily fill this page but that is not the exercise. I need to come up with one thing. Well then, why is it so hard to settle on one thing? I know myself pretty well but I find it impossible to prioritize my attributes. Plus I want to show I have a sense of humor. What am I going to say?

Does this mean I am over confident and a little arrogant or insecure and fearful of saying the wrong thing? I am confused. I will set this aside for tonight and trust that the answer will bubble up from my heart by morning. I’d love to hear what you think too.

I found this quote on a blog called Cindy T is for Triathlon. “They said the only way to get over a broken heart is to fall in love again. So I fell in love with myself. Best relationship of my life!”

How true! I am my own best company. I needed to fall in love with myself all over again which sets the stage for me to fall in love with someone else. I am on the horse and ready to ride. That too sounds strange and all of you people with dirty minds need to get out of the gutter!

From the heart,

6 thoughts on “A Haunting Question

  1. Hi Cara –
    Well you could say that you are a warm, caring, kind person who is usually cheerful. Maybe it’s your great voice that I have become accustomed to at Voicetrax – but the softness of your voice communicates warmth and kindness to me. If I had to say something about myself I would probably say that I am very positive, upbeat and almost always in a good mood. There are a lot of moody people out there and if we are usually in a happy mood – we are a good catch!Let me know what dating sights you think are best. I have only tried E-Harmony for a few months a couple years ago, and didn’t have much luck. Also they continued to bill me for many subsequent months and I had a problem getting my money back! I know what you mean about the pressure for single people at the holidays. If I feel like I know a lot of the people who will be attending a given party, I don’t stress about going alone so much. But New Years Eve is kind of depressing – and of course Valentine’s Day! thanks for sending this blog – Sincerely, Cheryl


  2. Being single at the holidays is the hardest part of my separation so I hear you girl. I miss having a built in date/ playmate, but love not having to negotiate squat. I would describe you as delightfully spunky/ cheeky/ sassy or mischievous although sassy is my word for myself 🙂 Can you think of something you have done that encompasses those qualities?


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