Friendship Demystified…..

Friendship Demystified…..

It’s 4pm and I just discovered I have been wearing my shirt backwards all day!  I’m actually pleased.  I’ve turned it around and now the little dribble from lunch rests comfortably out of sight.  By the way, one time I purposely wore my pants backward for a better fit—you can only work with what you’ve got!

There is something about school starting in September that makes me reflect on friendship.  As a kid I was never part of the popular group but I felt blessed to have a core posse of pretty cool gals.  I tried to tell myself that smart was much cooler than popular but as a teenager, I think it is much easier to say than do!  Certainly we know that the QUALITY of a friend is far more important than the QUANTITY but let’s dive a bit deeper.  Here is my attempt to stratify gal pals types into five categories.  (Just a note about me:  I hate long lists.  No one wants to read more than five things.  Who can remember past number five anyway!)

The “A” lister girlfriends.  The theme of my recent brunch was “Smart women love good company”.  Doesn’t this phrase say it all?  From the Smart Women Company website:  “Smart Women (items) express the wit, intelligence, and smarts applied to the everyday experiences of extraordinary women.  Smart is about making choices andmaking do; making amends and mending your socks.  We know smart when we see it and when we feel it.”  Amen! It isn’t about being BOOK smart—it is about being LIFE smart.  Surrounding yourself with like-minded, confident gals fuels your creativity and emotional well being.   There is equal give and take and never any competition.  These are your go-to –girls for advice and amusement.   The friends you can call at 2am.  You can laugh and cry together.

The “B” friends.  While I won’t call this friend at 2am, I will call her when I am ready for fun! Will she be there if I really need her during a rough emotional patch?   I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she cares about me because otherwise I don’t think we would be spending time together, but it may be that she doesn’t have the emotional sensitivity to know when I needing help.  Or very likely, she requires a healthy level of telepathy because I don’t tell her that I need help! Some people are uncomfortable  when it comes to giving support and there are a number of reasons why–worthy of another blog!

One important lesson is learning to recognize who is NOT your friend.

The “C” friends.  These are the ladies you see around but it is hard to talk about anything more substantial than the weather.   Little substance.  This is not to say that you or they have no substance but there is no foundation for a friendship.

The “D” friends.  “D” is for dump-her.   She sucks up your goodness only to leave you tired and dry.  Of course she feels great!  She is running on your good Juju energy.  The D’s are attracted to you because you embody what they are lacking in their lives.  Word to the wise here;   decline the opportunity to hang out with this “femme fatale” unless you have perfected your super power energy blocking cloak.

If you are really fortunate, you’ll have a soul sister best friend.  You not only share the same wavelength but you are from the same planet as this goddess.  This heart connection is PURE.   I LOVE this definition of girlfriend from Urban Dictionary, “A mystical creature whose known powers range from clairvoyancy to being able to bleed for a week without dying; a person to have on your side.  Let me add, someone to have on your speed dial and favorites list.

The most important message this Girlfriend wants to share with you is that a social life is a critical component of good health.  Be open and willing to making new friends your entire life.  It will take effort but it is so worth the reward.  I am blessed beyond belief to have a wide and wonderful array of girlfriends.  Thank you to my special “peeps” for making my life so much richer!

From the heart,

Cara

©2011 MyGirlfriendVoice

 

 

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